Foolish ways

Who would ever imagine that after so many years of wasting my life I have finally got knocked down and came back to my senses.

There are a few things that I wanted to share to the world that they should probably be mindful of.

1.  Don't love too much, learn to love oneself first before loving others.  

2.  Generosity should have a boundary.

3.  Don't say things that you don't actually mean.

4.  Don't allow someone to be your priority and allow them to make you their option.  It hurts like hell.

5.  Good friends are hard to find so when you do nurture them.  If you lose them they are never coming back.

hiatus

I've been gone a long time. My life had taken a different turn and now, I want to live again and breath.

There are many things in life that we choose to do because we think it is what counts.  I have given up my life for what?  I can't even find the words to describe what I did to my life.  And now, as I contemplate on it, I came to the sad realization that I threw away my life for nothing.

I have to blame myself for this.  Where will I begin to find myself?  

Snuggy went to heaven

Last Sunday, October 5, 2008 I cried my heart out after attending the worship service because I received a message from my mom saying that SNUGGY my tortoise, who had been with us for the last 10 years. He was given to me by my cousin who left for the states in '98. Now, there is an empty space in my heart coz I won't be seeing him anymore every time I go to the bathroom.

If you wanted to ask the reason why he left, well i really don't have any answers. He just refused to eat. I even heard him one time crying. I don't know what happened. It pains me that my pet passed away. I just hope wherever pets go when they die, Snuggy is there, and that he is happy. Maybe there you can play with Snappy. Give him my regards okey? I miss you SNUGGY.

Moving

So much with people changing their minds. This week we will move to a new office space. I will be mingling with a new group of people and I'm looking forward to accomplishing things with the this new group.

The things I will miss here at 14th floor are as follows:

1. The kids - the marketing and admin staff of MMM. They have all these crazy antics up their sleeves and the board room will never be the same without them.
2. The boisterous laughter around here when the "cats" are away... if you get the drift
3. Honestly , I will miss the constant bantering of the people here.
4. And last but not the least, the oleh-oleh and the food trip of the people here. Out of this world.
   

I guess in the process, one leaves behind a part of oneself when one moves but we should not fret about it. Every new chapter of our lives bring surprises and new beginnings. Now ain't that worth the journey?
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Tagged by Rayts

The Rules: Each player answers the given questions about themselves. At the end of which, a further 5-6 people are tagged and informed accordingly on their own blogs. The unfortunate victim is requested to let the person who tagged them know when they’ve posted their answer.

1. What was I doing 10 years ago? 10 years?! Wow! I'm still in college back then. I tried to earn money by working in RMC and that was where we met and that was were our story began. I remember how pious we were back then. We frequent the church almost everyday for reasons only known to us. Whenever I try to look back, I can't help but think those were really good days for me. I earned really good friends and you are one of them.
   
2. What are 5 things on my to-do list for today? Darn! Finalize the program proposal for Nursing English, Talk to the security guards of Brawijaya Apartment (they will lose their job this month) to ask them about the application status, Communicate with Isaki san about the visit of Japanese to our office, Design an NCLEX review program for MMM, Consult with my boss re: instructors for my programs and the list goes on...
   
3. Snacks you enjoy? I love bananas with milk. Pizza and pasta (all time favorite)
4. Things I would do if I were a billionaire? Wow! That's like huge. Well, I'll buy my folks their own place and give them money for them to do whatever it is they please. I'll open a foundation for the brethren who need to have their own source of livelihood. I can now help more because I have more. And I will go places, without considering backpackers stuff. I will travel in style. And last but not the least, I can pursue my business plans. To open a place where my friends and I can hang out and at the same time earn money.
   
5. Places you have lived? Isabel Leyte, Las Pinas, Makati, Pasig, Los Banos, Bay Laguna, Jl. Rambai Jakarta Selatan, Brawijaya Apartment, Jakarta Selatan, Lombok Residences, Jakarta Pusat, and Jl. Ciawi , Jakarta Selatan
   
6. Who are your next victims? ALODIE
   

Close Shave

Today, I am feeling giddy and all because despite of the many bumps I went through this week, I can still stay that Life is beautiful. Oh on my way to the office I almost got him by a motorcycle. It was really a close shave, something pulled me back and that was my angel. One thing is true about the drivers here in Indonesia, they are all rushing to hell.

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This week was rather rough for me, we lost our Lolo Bening. Even if you try to understand that it was already time for him to go, I can't help but feel the pain of losing him. And again, my brother doesn't give a damn about helping. It irritates me that he's so irresponsible. Oh I don't have to dwell on this or I'll just ruin my day.

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On weekend we will prepare a little something for our minister who is coming home here. I hope I can invite more brethren to come so we can all have some fun. Dids, are you coming over?

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Parting ways

Just about an hour ago my friend called me, she said she has tendered her resignation to her boss. Of course I was shocked and I asked her why? Well, she said she had enough. I totally understand that. I guess there are some things in life worth fighting for and there are those that we have to let go.

I know that I will feel sad when my friend leaves Jakarta because she has been my confidant and she's my my very good friend here. But I know this too will pass. I would rather be sad for a while than see her suffer in her work. She deserves more. Many Filipinos aspire for greater things that is why they leave their home land. Some people may be lucky but others working abroad are just victims of injustice and unfair labor practice. Every OFW wants a better life for their family in RP. I just hope the people back home will reciprocate by spending the money wisely. Coz i tell you staying in a foreign land is never easy.

Sister ganda, wherever your destiny brings you, I hope we will still stay in touch. I'll miss you.

My "Someday" has arrived

Someday
by: Nina

Someday you’re gonna realize
One day you’ll see this through my eyes
By then I won’t even be there
I’ll be happy somewhere
Even if I cared

I know you don’t really see my worth
You think you’re the last guy on earth
Well I’ve got news for you
I know I’m not that strong
But it won’t take long
Won’t take long

'Coz Someday someone’s gonna love me
The way I wanted you to need me
Someday someone’s gonna take your place
One day I’ll forget about you
You'll see, I won't even miss you

Someday someday

Right now I know you can tell
I’m down and I’m not doing well
But one day these tears they will all run dry
I won’t have to cry, sweet goodbye

Coz' someday someone’s gonna love me
The way I wanted you to need me
Someday someone’s gonna take your place oohh..
One day I’ll forget about you
You'll see, I won't even miss you

Someday, i know someone's gonna be there

Someday someone’s gonna love me
The way I wanted you to need me
Someday someone’s gonna take your place
One day I’ll forget about you
You'll see, I won't even miss you

Someday someday..
oh yeah...

This song has touched my inner core in more ways than one. I used to cry whenever I hear this song. Yes, indeed this was my silent plea. That someday I will be happy with someone and I will forget about my past. Now, that "someday" has finally arrived. It feels good to be needed and loved. Thank you honeybunch for taking care of me.

Naked truth

As defined in Wikipedia, clothing protects the human body from extreme weather and other features of the environment. It is worn for safety, comfort, and modesty and to reflect religious, cultural and social meaning.

Earlier today on my way to the office, while I was crossing the overpass in Sinar Pagi. I saw a naked boy lying on the rather cold cement curled up and when I was descending the stairs there was another man there who was naked and he was sleeping soundly like a log baring his humanity for the world to see. These two people laid there mangled by their quota of defeat. This sight made me appreciate my blessings once again. Lately, I've been wondering why I'm experiencing hard times. But after seeing these two men, I came to realize how blessed I am. I still have a roof under my head. I still have clothes to protect me from my environment. I'm still blessed with so much. Maybe you also are. So if at times you want to question your creator about life's complexities just stop for a while and think of those who have nothing at all. Those who had lost their hope to experience even a little comfort. Those who live their lives wishing it were their last day.

The naked truth is we exist in a world of inequality. It will always be this way. No matter how hard we work to achieve a society that practices equality, it will just remain a dream. Yes, there will always be inequality because it is only then that we begin to appreciate the roles given to us. But we have to remember what ever part we play, we have to give our best, for the the end of our journey we will be rewarded accordingly.

He brings a smile to my face

When I'm down or sad or tired, i just have to talk to this young man and just like that all those unwanted emotions will simply go away. This kid can be a blabber mouth and when he flashes his smile oh geez I am simply captivated. Before I left for Jakarta I bought him Barney vcds. He calls this purple dino "beeney" . His mom said he would sing and dance with beeney. He will soon be a school boy. I hope he would enjoy playing with kids and learning new stuff. I miss him already. I miss him everyday.

Rayts tagged me

Well today, I dunno what has gotten into me but there was this drive to check out my friend's blog and now I will have to indulge her. Maybe this thing will help us to somehow get to know our friends. Especially for me, I've been away for some time and this distance can sometimes detach you from the people you really care about. So here goes:

8 Things about me:

• I'm an obsessive compulsive person. I am a molysomophobic of some sort. So you can be sure that when I go to public places I make sure I find clean restrooms. And I don't like touching the door handles. I will wait until someone would open the door before I go in and out of the restrooms.
• I hate it when people would try to play with me using their feet. I get that icky feeling.
• I talk in my sleep. (Alodie and AC told me so). They even tried recording my mumbling a couple of times.
• I hardly say NO to people who comes to me for just about anything. I accommodate even the weirdest conversation.
• My knees would go weak when I'm in high places. I'm altophobic. I remembered riding that boat in Enchanted Kingdom with my "exceptional friends" (Rayts, Charlie and Mitch). Geez! my knees shook convulsively. So now even if things are for free, I will keep a safe distance from those horrendous rides.
• I'm drawn to the sea. It has this soothing effect on me. It sort of washes all my filthiness and pains away.
• I don't like chocolates, coffee, burnt bread, coke, anything burnt. It has something to do with the color I guess.
• Indonesian food has grown on me. My all time favorite is the "sate ayam and soto ayam"

Whew! That was tough. It took me ages to write these things down. Now for the 8 people I wanted to tag... Geez! This is harder than I thought coz I only know a few friends who blogs. Can I get away with this one?

Twisted minds

"Greed is selfish, excessive or uncontrolled desire for or pursuit of money, wealth, food, or other possessions, especially when this denies the same goods to others. " This definition was taken from wikipedia.

Today, as i was walking to the office aimlessly, some random thoughts came to me as to why the things that transpired in my life the past few days came about. GREED! Yes it is what drives people to the brink of the evil world. If I let them be, am I committing the sin of omission? Do I have the responsibility of intervening in all these? Or can I just stay mum about all these?

The people around me now are trying to destroy one another. They've been throwing blame at each other and sometimes it gets into my nerve to bear witness to all these because there are those people around them that suffers the consequences of petty and childish fight. No progress just war. How can mankind attain peace when it is difficult for them to let go of their wants? No wonder many people are suffering... no one wants to humble themselves.

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Today, I heard YOU speak... I will just be fine... I will follow where YOU will lead me
YOU have prepared the path for me and I shall obey thee.

Staring into the eyes of poverty

Jakarta houses the richest and the poorest people of this country. Everyday, I always have a brush with the least fortunate ones. I can't comprehend how a country like this whose resources are just so immense have people who hardly have anything on their plates.

I pass this over pass everyday on my way to the office and every Tuesday I see this old man who seems so weak already but he tries to clean the over pass every Tuesday. Imagine, how a man with twisted feet walks in that over pass to clean. It crushes my heart. How I wish there is more to life than just a little help for this man. How can change happen when only a few has the desire to change the world.

How can a man who has Rp5,000 eat three decent meals in Jakarta? I wonder where the heart of most people are nowadays. With that I can only buy 5 packs of instant noodles. After having one, you will not be so enthusiastic about taking another one. So they probably choose to have "gorengan" instead.

Poverty drives people to do something bad. It also kills the values people once uphold. But is there really a solution to this? How can we, in our own little way alleviate poverty? Everyone is crying for more, craving and wanting more in life. If we can just stop awhile and stare at poverty in its eyes then perhaps we will realize how blessed we are to have a roof over our head and we are eating 3 times a day. Is this not enough? How about you? When will you know that something is enough for you?

Sauce needed

This yummy looking crab needs a sauce. So if you have the talent of whipping up something lemme know and I will refer you to the committee in charge of the sauce making contest.

My officemates

(L-R) Jane, TM, Slamet, Meil, Dhora

The Photo Addicts

A view from Menara Hijau

A view of the residential area from my office. They like red roofs.

This view is facing the business district of Jakarta. The buildings are not so visible because of the smog.

Today it looks brighter than the previous days.

A tribute to a good friend

I know you will no longer hear me but I am hoping that the angels will send this message to you. I tried to find you but I guess I did not try hard enough. Wherever you may be right now, I want you to know that I am truly grateful that our paths had crossed. You made me realize that despite of life's misgivings we still have to be thankful to our Creator.

I don't want to remember you looking sick and weak. I want to remember you as the person who made my stay in Bay worthwhile. Today, I asked God to give you rest. May your life be an inspiration to those who knew you. thank you for taking care of me back then. Thank you for those breakfasts and lunches we had together. Thank you for the silly thoughts, the laughter and the tears we shared.

Til we meet again Ate Nels. I will miss you.

A typical rainy day in Jakarta

Yesterday, my colleague and I went around Cawang area to scout for a house for one of the instructors for the training center and while we were doing our rounds the rain poured.

The flooding is a manifestation of the poor drainage system in this country. Imagine this is only about 15 minutes of rain. Can you picture in your heads what happened to Jakarta when it rained here for several days last February? Several areas where submerged in flood water.

It is my earnest hope that everyone will start cleaning their own backyards. Stop throwing garbage just anywhere. A small effort of throwing your trash in the right place will go a long long way for mother earth. This is our planet, we have to contribute in making this a better place to live in.

Missing You Quotes, I Miss You Sayings

Missing You Quotes, I Miss You Sayings: "Where you used to be, there is a hole in the world, which I find myself constantly walking around in the daytime, and falling in at night. I miss you like hell. ~Edna St Vincent Millay"

Jakarta's treats

Take a look at these treats from Jakarta. This country never cease to amaze me because everyday you will unravel something beautiful. Imagine biting into something sweet and at the same time spicy. I'm sure those of you who are have not tried this would squirm. But I tell you, life is too short, so we have to allow ourselves to experience the best life has to offer.

So next time you would ponder on which places to visit... think of INDONESIA...

Mourning for Nemo

Every day I wake up to check the tank where we have several kinds of fish. I am drawn however to Nemo because he is such a doll. Then as the days passed I noticed that his tail had been chipped off, then his flippers and then last thursday he just didn't come up for breakfast anymore. I tried searching for him and then there he was at the bottom of the tank lifeless. There was no hope of rescuing him, and the perpetrator is none other than this eel i called Snakey. Today, the guys who cleans and maintains our fish tank took him away and gave me a new Nemo. Well, I hope things will be peaceful inside the tank now. As what my boss told me, it is the nature of a snake to be a preadator wherever they may be. Well, now that Snakey is no longer around, it is my ardent hope that all the fishes in the tank will live peacefully because it gives someone like me a sense of joy.