Wednesday, December 14, 2005

It Stings

I've told myself time and again that I'm so over him. And I know I've managed to come to terms with certain things in my life but last night the subconscious part of me cried.

Yesterday was not particularly a smooth sailing day for me because of all the knitty gritty details of trying to co-exist with the people from around here. So I'm so darn sure that never did this person cross my mind yesterday. Earlier this morning, I woke up crying because in my dream he made this announcement that he will be settling down soon and that he is inviting me over. It was like a blow in my gut and I hated myself for even feeling that way.

They say our subconscious mind tells us more about what really lurks in our hearts. Oh I will let the world think that way. There is not a thing I can do to make the world change their minds but I'm in control of my feelings and that is what I'm going to harp on. Maybe I will hurt if there is some truth to what I dreamt about but life as it is goes on so I know I will find a way to stand up and say, "I'm glad that once in my life, I have loved this man."

Monday, December 05, 2005

Easy & Difficult

Easy is to judge the mistakes of others
Difficult is to recognize our own mistakes

Easy is to talk without thinking
Difficult is to refrain the tongue

Easy is to hurt someone who loves us.
Difficult is to heal the wound...

Easy is to forgive others
Difficult is to ask for forgiveness

Easy is to set rules.
Difficult is to follow them...

Easy is to dream every night.
Difficult is to fight for a dream...

Easy is to show victory.
Difficult is to assume defeat with dignity...

Easy is to admire a full moon.
Difficult to see the other side...

Easy is to stumble with a stone.
Difficult is to get up...

Easy is to enjoy life every day.
Difficult to give its real value...

Easy is to promise something to someone.
Difficult is to keep that promise...

Easy is to say we love.
Difficult is to show it every day...

Easy is to criticize others.
Difficult is to improve oneself...

Easy is to make mistakes.
Difficult is to learn from them...

Easy is to weep for a lost love.
Difficult is to take care of it so not to lose it.

Easy is to think about improving.
Difficult is to stop thinking it and put it into action...

Easy is to think badly of others
Difficult is to give them the benefit of the doubt...

Easy is to receive
Difficult is to give

Easy is keep the friendship with words
Difficult is to keep it with meanings.

and last but not the least ....

Easy to read this
Difficult to follow.

Heading Home

Was it just the other day when I was packing my stuff and getting ready to go back to Jakarta? And now I'm counting the days when I can head home and be with my family again. They said we are where we are now for all the right reasons. Nothing happens in this life that is not a part of the bigger picture. So my being away from my family has its purpose. And just like every bird who has been set free there will always be a time when it would long to be home again.

That is exactly what I'm feeling right now. I want to go home. This time around I intend to spend more time with my family; doing things I miss the most while I'm here in Jakarta.

I was just wondering how will the pinoys spend their holiday this time around. So many things have changed this year. Whenever I talk to some of my friends back home, all I could hear from them are the saddening news on how tough life is in RP. But even if I hear only the bad things about my country, RP will always be a place I can call HOME because this is where my heart is.

Wednesday, November 30, 2005


Yesterday brought the beginning, tomorrow brings the end, and somewhere in the middle we became the best of friends. ~Author Unknown

For the past few days this kept bugging me coz everyone around me seems to have a common concept about "best friend." A kid from church told me she has several best friends. And not only that even the adults I’ve met in this lifetime they all share the same concept that one can have several best friends. How is that possible?

When I was a kid one of my favorite subject is Language. Going to school where we were taught to be critical and objective has been a blessing to me in a lot of ways. Ms. Myrna Labisig was the name of my English teacher. She's tough as a teacher but outside the classroom she can be a good friend. Learning language with her was a fun experience for me because I dread those times when I was called to stand in class and say a phrase or a word until it's perfect. So I had to put extra effort to do good in her class. Now what is the relationship of my teacher to best friends? Simple, I just want to share with you what I've learned from my teacher.

In the comparison of adjectives we have the comparative and superlative degree. So when we use the adjective "best" it only means you are using the superlative degree of comparison. Which goes to show that if you compare things there will and should only be one that stays on the top. That is why you call it "best". With this premise, I would like to impart my stand about having only one best friend. In this lifetime we meet a lot of people and in one way or another touched our lives. There are those who fall under your acquaintances, there are judiends and there are friends as well and there will only be one best friend. When you give that title to someone it means that, that person stands out in your pool of friends.

My best friend, well she's the best for me. I know everyone has their own standards for their best friend and I have mine too. I am just grateful I have her in my life because she has been that one person who sees the best and worst in me yet she remained steadfast in believing that we are the best of friends. We are not best friends because we need something from one another. We are the best of friends by choice... in our journey thru life we will find someone who will complements us. You don't have to have reasons for making someone your best friend because your heart will just tell you that, that certain someone is your best friend.

Please don't get me wrong for I have a few close friends too, I hope they won't be offended by my idea which I’m sure they won't. In this life we will meet thousands of people who can and will make a difference in our lives but once we find those we can call our own we ought to nurture them because we won't stumble upon another creature who will exactly be the kind of treasure they've been to us. To my true friends, I'm sure you know you are... I just want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for being the kind of friends you've always been to me. I couldn't ask far more. And oh before I forget, just let me play with the kids ok? I will borrow them one of these days. But let me take them out one at a time coz I can't handle more than 1.

To all my friends… saya cinta kamu!

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

Chocolates and Big O!

When was the last time I was out? Has it been ages or what? I guess I ought to find ways to interact with the world again. I've been missing out on the accessories in life. Last Friday was a rainy day in this part of the world. But my colleague and I were oblige to meet with the marketing fellows of some the the companies here in Jakarta. It was a long and tiring trip from Sudirman to Pondok Indah Mall and the traffic was really so bad. When we got there we were not in the mood to do the whole thing but when we saw everyone, well things turned a bit brighter for us.

My colleague had to forced himself to make a presentation to the group about what business we are into here in Jakarta. Everyone was intent in understanding what he has to say and I'm just glad we are able to set meetings for other more serious stuffs.

Dinner at Outback will always be a joy in my heart because the staff are really very courteous and there is this one girl who makes me feel important because she remembers my name.

When we were having our dinner everyone was quietly enjoying the meals they ordered because everyone was starving already. After the sumptuous dinner everyone started conversing with each other in their quest to get to know one another better. My colleague and I just watch in amazement how fast they talk and my colleague didn't understand a darn thing they were saying at that time but he mustered to plaster a smile in his face. I understand a conversational bahasa already so I understand a bit of the gossips they were sharing with each other.

Then we had dessert. They all had ice cream with chocolate syrup whipped all over their ice creams and since I'm not a fan of chocolate I had to request that I be given just a plain vanilla ice cream. They all started asking me why I don't like chocolate... I told them that I am not an avid fan of dark colors and since chocolate is dark I just don't like it. Then my Indonesian friend said that there are only 2 great things that can happen to a woman and that is chocolate and big O. Everyone started laughing and I was told I miss one-half of my life coz I don't like chocolates. Never did it cross my minds that Indonesians are also liberated. I always had that notion that they are of the conservative type. They enjoyed discussing how chocolates can help women get better and greater Os. Then they all started making those sounds and started asking us how do Pinoys refer to big Os. We all had a good laugh because now they have learned a new vocabulary from the Pinoy 60's "ikapitong _____".

That night was the start of a monthly thing for the Jakarta Marketers. I am just wondering what our next topic will be because the next time we meet we are suppose to have a dress code. Everyone should wear anything with chocolate colors and when we see each other the greeting should be a really icky "aaahhh"... Sometimes, it is always good to go out with people from different walks of life because you can have a better appreciation of how life should be. Now, I don't know if I'll ever get to appreciate good chocolates ever but one thing is sure, I had a good laugh with my new Indonesian friends who taught me their views about chocolates. :-)

Saturday, November 12, 2005


A baby is God's opinion that the world should go on. ~Carl Sandburg

Today I spent a couple of hours organizing pictures of these tiny creatures that came to into the lives of my really good friends. I am all smiles because they have angelic faces. Before I envy people because I don't have a god child and everyone around me seems to have a whole bunch of these kids.

Now I have a whole bunch of blessings. My first god child is Macky. My 2nd god child is Aaron. The 3rd is Jamie, the 4th is Luke, the 5th is Stephen, the 6th is Denise, the 7th is Bennett and the 8th is Chloe. Geez! Not that I'm complaining but I guess this should stop somewhere. I might not be able to remember all their names and I want to take my role rather seriously. But how am I supposed to be a good god parent when I'm like oceans and continents apart from these kids. I don't want to be the typical god parent who showers their "ina-anak" with gifts because really that is not even the reason why one is given that kind of responsibility. How can one be better at this role then? Well, I don't know just yet but I suppose I can learn from those wise people out there who take on this kind of role at the whole new level.

So I you have any ideas out there please share it with me. I'm a novice willing to learn the many facets of being a responsible god parent. :-)