Confusion or Fear

I was trying to get a couple of minutes rest during my lunch break when my attention was caught by this pile of papers that stood in this space ever since I can remember. No one even bothered arranging it for fear that the owner of these pile of papers or garbage might get lost when she comes back.

Then a thought struck me. This thing being portrayed by the picture clearly depicts the type of feelings I had yesterday. Everyday they say we encounter something new. Sometimes, we like what we experience and sometimes we are hurt by the things we thought would make us happy.

I'm sure every single person here wants to get into a relationship. There will always be a time when you know in your heart that you wanted to be with someone. We have this strong desire for a long lasting relationship but somehow when we are about to plunge into the relationship we feel an odd reluctance of actually being involve. "Ambivalence" is another way to describe the situation. In reality, however, this is a protective move to keep you from taking a risk. An ambivalent person is looking for a guarantee—a certainty of being right. It's a battle between the heart and the head.

A friend of mine once told me; that I should stop rationalizing things and that I should just follow what my heart tells me. I told her that I will never agree with her on that because I've tried listening to my heart and where did I land? In a miserable situation that I will never choose to do all over again. Now, I guess I'm allowed another shot at life. Another shot at loving and being loved in return but why am I still afraid to reciprocate a love handed over to me. There could be many reasons. I'm afraid I will never be good enough to handle things. Another thing could be my fear that other people will not approve of "us". And really the big issue is the differences in our beliefs. Who ever said loving is an easy thing to do? In my case it's too complicated and it sucks but should I be afraid of taking a risk? I shouldn't be. A friend of mine told me the other week to lift everything up to my Creator and He will provide me the answers. True enough, I know which way to go now.

In my moment of confusion and fear He gave me the strength to stand up and face my problem. Not everything is life should be borne alone because we have a friend in Him. When all else fail, He will shed light to our bleak path and carry us on His shoulders that we may be triumphant in our every endeavor. Will I fear to love? No! Because this is what keeps the world going. And one thing is for sure in every joy and pain we experience in loving, we become better people. Oooppsss! By the way that is a man's choice. So it's up to you if you will choose to be happy or you will choose to be gloomy. I, however chose LIFE!